So Much to Say
To everyone in the Chicago land area, or at least the northern suburbs of Chicago: I offer my most sincere apology for the snow we seem to be experiencing. Yes, I broke down and got a pedicure. I couldn't help it! When I wrote about not getting one until April, I completely forgot the dinner function thingy I had to attend yesterday. I had to get a pedicure because I was wearing strappy shoes- no hose. Please forgive me.
Anyhow, there is just so much to tell you, such an odd and fabulous weekend for Alyssa, Eva, (HER ESSENCE) Marla and Amanda (Taming Roland: can't be all caps until it's finished, my personal incentive). The first thing I need to discuss is this idea of fear.
Today's practice started out like the others, tough. I felt like I couldn't hold the poses, so I pulled out my bag of tricks: take off my jacket and get back in to down dog, stretch and splay my fingers to show others that I may have injured myself which is why I couldn't hold plank any longer, you know the games we play. Anyhow when we got to chaturanga (I've spoken of this pose before see: January 31st) and we held it for what felt like minutes, Amy (perhaps hip to my stalling tactics) very bluntly stated: "There's a difference between pulling back because of pain and pulling back because you quit. Don't give up, hold the pose and experience it."
Amy has gained my favor in large part due to her no non-sense approach to teaching yoga which I so appreciate! Anyhow, that is exactly what I needed to hear to snap me out of my slump. So I held chaturanga, down dog and plank more times than I care to remember and for longer than I can say because it felt like actual minutes which it couldn't have been, but I did it. And right there at some point as I pushed through the pain, I had an epiphany of sorts: this self-induced funk I've been experiencing and writing about lately was just my not wanting to push through, or maybe not believing that I could. But then, writing is sometimes like that (lonely with no one to give you that encouragement, that is with a good boss which is as elusive as...well, I digress. I guess that's why I'm blogging in the first place...that encouragement thing and it was a suggestion from a friend). I just knew shavasna was going to be interesting today.
At the end of the class, we prepared for shavasna and I'll admit, I went into it a bit afraid of where my mind might go, perhaps fearful of learning something I didn't think I was prepared to learn just yet, but I engaged anyway. And nothing happened. No popping in my chest, no ear pulling, no elephant sitting on my forehead sensation. Nothing happened until Amy recited a few words she'd jotted down just for class, yoga knowledge I like to call it.
I canÂt recall all of it (didn't have my notebook), but she spoke about moving away from fear and how fear can stunt growth and create small minds (all things I know). She ended with: "may you know what to ask of yourself, until you do, you'll never find your answers. Amy was two for two." It was just what I needed to hear, or rather face at that precise moment.
It threw me into this fury of thoughts that I knew I had to jot down when I got to the car. I didnÂt have my notebook (another story for another time as you know, I never leave home without it...I DID have my coat in the car I'm happy to report as it is snowing!) but I did have pen and paper, so I wrote all my ideas as they came to me on the drive home, and yes, safely.
Ideas and thoughts just flowed and thus a new twist in the completed HER ESSENCE (nothing too drastic, but just a beautiful idea that will without doubt enhance it. I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before now!) And as for Marla, yikes! Insights that were there on paper, but not linked, until now. So here's a thought: perhaps writing and yoga are supposed to be joined at least for me, dependent in order to put you in touch with the only person who's going to really encourage you best (and when I say you, I mean me). And perhaps I'm letting go of a bit of my own fear. I'm telling you all, all of this now aren't I? Sometimes I can't believe this journey--so eager to see where it leads.
Anyhow, there is just so much to tell you, such an odd and fabulous weekend for Alyssa, Eva, (HER ESSENCE) Marla and Amanda (Taming Roland: can't be all caps until it's finished, my personal incentive). The first thing I need to discuss is this idea of fear.
Today's practice started out like the others, tough. I felt like I couldn't hold the poses, so I pulled out my bag of tricks: take off my jacket and get back in to down dog, stretch and splay my fingers to show others that I may have injured myself which is why I couldn't hold plank any longer, you know the games we play. Anyhow when we got to chaturanga (I've spoken of this pose before see: January 31st) and we held it for what felt like minutes, Amy (perhaps hip to my stalling tactics) very bluntly stated: "There's a difference between pulling back because of pain and pulling back because you quit. Don't give up, hold the pose and experience it."
Amy has gained my favor in large part due to her no non-sense approach to teaching yoga which I so appreciate! Anyhow, that is exactly what I needed to hear to snap me out of my slump. So I held chaturanga, down dog and plank more times than I care to remember and for longer than I can say because it felt like actual minutes which it couldn't have been, but I did it. And right there at some point as I pushed through the pain, I had an epiphany of sorts: this self-induced funk I've been experiencing and writing about lately was just my not wanting to push through, or maybe not believing that I could. But then, writing is sometimes like that (lonely with no one to give you that encouragement, that is with a good boss which is as elusive as...well, I digress. I guess that's why I'm blogging in the first place...that encouragement thing and it was a suggestion from a friend). I just knew shavasna was going to be interesting today.
At the end of the class, we prepared for shavasna and I'll admit, I went into it a bit afraid of where my mind might go, perhaps fearful of learning something I didn't think I was prepared to learn just yet, but I engaged anyway. And nothing happened. No popping in my chest, no ear pulling, no elephant sitting on my forehead sensation. Nothing happened until Amy recited a few words she'd jotted down just for class, yoga knowledge I like to call it.
I canÂt recall all of it (didn't have my notebook), but she spoke about moving away from fear and how fear can stunt growth and create small minds (all things I know). She ended with: "may you know what to ask of yourself, until you do, you'll never find your answers. Amy was two for two." It was just what I needed to hear, or rather face at that precise moment.
It threw me into this fury of thoughts that I knew I had to jot down when I got to the car. I didnÂt have my notebook (another story for another time as you know, I never leave home without it...I DID have my coat in the car I'm happy to report as it is snowing!) but I did have pen and paper, so I wrote all my ideas as they came to me on the drive home, and yes, safely.
Ideas and thoughts just flowed and thus a new twist in the completed HER ESSENCE (nothing too drastic, but just a beautiful idea that will without doubt enhance it. I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before now!) And as for Marla, yikes! Insights that were there on paper, but not linked, until now. So here's a thought: perhaps writing and yoga are supposed to be joined at least for me, dependent in order to put you in touch with the only person who's going to really encourage you best (and when I say you, I mean me). And perhaps I'm letting go of a bit of my own fear. I'm telling you all, all of this now aren't I? Sometimes I can't believe this journey--so eager to see where it leads.
posted by Andrea | 1:48 PM
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