Not a Tease
I really did mean to post Friday, the egg, if the last post was the chicken;}, however, I needed to attend to things here in Chicago. I know (all six???) of you can understand. Posts will be more sporadic, but check back as there are bound to be some exciting happenings on the forefront. (Keep your fingers crossed!)
Okay, so here's the post (I wrote this last Wednesday):
I treated myself to breakfast today (self congrats for the headstand and a nice ending to my birthday month). As I was led to my seat, I passed a rather attractive couple. There was an empty booth behind them. I thought to myself immediately, "Don't seat me here, anywhere but here. This is nothing but trouble." While I was thinking this, the female part of this couple deftly took me in...assessing me.
And yet, the host stopped short, "Here you go, enjoy your breakfast."
You see, I'm a regular, and I always request the large booth because I do a lot of work at this establishment, I need to spread out and although it's just me, I need my room. My host friend knows this. I did a quick survey to determine if there was another large booth. I saw none and I was faced with a decision: (1) Risk getting a small booth (and I detest the small booth)(2) Risk getting a table (I abhor the table!) (3) Stay and face away from the male counterpart (smart choice) (4) Stay and face the male counterpart.
So which did I choose? I'm a writer and observer first (will the rationale ever cease??? Besides, I smelled the trouble brewing and who am I to deny the good story?)Always one to take in human nature in its truest form, I chose option 4 and Ms. Cute Couple shifted enough to obstruct both the Mr. and my view from one another. And then she kept pulling her hair behind her ear (tell-tell). It was in a pony tail. They looked as if they were on vacation (it was 10:00 in the morning on a Wednesday!! There is nothing that dictates that you have to 'fashion up' on a down day...that's why they're down days!)
Anyhow, I immediately felt uncomfortable about my choice. I never want to be the conduit to another person's insecurity. Clearly, they were dating, or she was angling so, so I thought. Regardless, she continued to make quick glances at me (I was directly behind her)as she tried to maintain a conversation with Mr. CC.
I was a little surprised that I'd called it (not surprised by my intuition or sixth sense, but just the accuracy!)I knew that she would excuse herself, and she did. To my credit, I never glanced at Mr. CC. I glanced around him (he was as uncomfortable as I was, perhaps too, sensing the set up). Upon her return, she paused at the stairs (as if I couldn't see her) to observe the happenings, and then she sat.
All of this reminded me of Dave Young. A young man who was a friend. A friend who knew that dating would yield nothing but trouble, although the energy between us was electric. He maintained that I was the "marrying type" and he wasn't ready to get married (THIS is a whole other blog which I will get to later). Anyhow, I was a YOUNG 20 something, and we'd gone out to a club. Well, I needed to leave (as I was on public transportation...yes, that long ago). Ever the gentleman, he hailed a cab for us (I insisted on taking the El home...he wasn't my boyfriend, and I didn't want him to be), made sure I made it on the 'El' and then high tailed it back to the club. Upon his return, he was treated to 'pork chop' service as we termed it. Several women pounced with their eyes and gestures (why do men fall for this???), and let him know that they weren't necessarily vegetarians. It was funny. We laughed.
On another outing, we went for lunch. While waiting to be seated, several girls eyed him despite my presence, clearly wanting his attention. And they were obvious. They had no idea that we were just kissing cousins, AND they didn't care. I looked back at Dave and said, "ready to eat pork chop?" He got it immediately and nodded, understanding the reference. We laughed at the situation, not at all threatened or enticed by the flirting girls. It simply was. We realized we had no control over the girls. What was going to happen was going to happen, but we had a mutual respect and we didn't want to make the other uncomfortable. He made sure the girls saw me as he nodded an acknowledgement and dissmissal.
I'm not exactly sure why I thought about Dave (as I haven't in a long while)but I guess I was rooting for Ms. CC (who I later discovered was married to Mr. CC with all the matching jewelry)to take the higher road. I KNOW (as many reading will say, it had nothing to do with me...although, I was looking rather cute and alluring...)that I was not the cause for concern, and that he was, but something about me being me put her on alert.
I was uncomfortable with that, but perhaps it was just the sponginess in me reflecting her discomfort and insecurity. Who knows? Your thoughts?
Okay, so here's the post (I wrote this last Wednesday):
I treated myself to breakfast today (self congrats for the headstand and a nice ending to my birthday month). As I was led to my seat, I passed a rather attractive couple. There was an empty booth behind them. I thought to myself immediately, "Don't seat me here, anywhere but here. This is nothing but trouble." While I was thinking this, the female part of this couple deftly took me in...assessing me.
And yet, the host stopped short, "Here you go, enjoy your breakfast."
You see, I'm a regular, and I always request the large booth because I do a lot of work at this establishment, I need to spread out and although it's just me, I need my room. My host friend knows this. I did a quick survey to determine if there was another large booth. I saw none and I was faced with a decision: (1) Risk getting a small booth (and I detest the small booth)(2) Risk getting a table (I abhor the table!) (3) Stay and face away from the male counterpart (smart choice) (4) Stay and face the male counterpart.
So which did I choose? I'm a writer and observer first (will the rationale ever cease??? Besides, I smelled the trouble brewing and who am I to deny the good story?)Always one to take in human nature in its truest form, I chose option 4 and Ms. Cute Couple shifted enough to obstruct both the Mr. and my view from one another. And then she kept pulling her hair behind her ear (tell-tell). It was in a pony tail. They looked as if they were on vacation (it was 10:00 in the morning on a Wednesday!! There is nothing that dictates that you have to 'fashion up' on a down day...that's why they're down days!)
Anyhow, I immediately felt uncomfortable about my choice. I never want to be the conduit to another person's insecurity. Clearly, they were dating, or she was angling so, so I thought. Regardless, she continued to make quick glances at me (I was directly behind her)as she tried to maintain a conversation with Mr. CC.
I was a little surprised that I'd called it (not surprised by my intuition or sixth sense, but just the accuracy!)I knew that she would excuse herself, and she did. To my credit, I never glanced at Mr. CC. I glanced around him (he was as uncomfortable as I was, perhaps too, sensing the set up). Upon her return, she paused at the stairs (as if I couldn't see her) to observe the happenings, and then she sat.
All of this reminded me of Dave Young. A young man who was a friend. A friend who knew that dating would yield nothing but trouble, although the energy between us was electric. He maintained that I was the "marrying type" and he wasn't ready to get married (THIS is a whole other blog which I will get to later). Anyhow, I was a YOUNG 20 something, and we'd gone out to a club. Well, I needed to leave (as I was on public transportation...yes, that long ago). Ever the gentleman, he hailed a cab for us (I insisted on taking the El home...he wasn't my boyfriend, and I didn't want him to be), made sure I made it on the 'El' and then high tailed it back to the club. Upon his return, he was treated to 'pork chop' service as we termed it. Several women pounced with their eyes and gestures (why do men fall for this???), and let him know that they weren't necessarily vegetarians. It was funny. We laughed.
On another outing, we went for lunch. While waiting to be seated, several girls eyed him despite my presence, clearly wanting his attention. And they were obvious. They had no idea that we were just kissing cousins, AND they didn't care. I looked back at Dave and said, "ready to eat pork chop?" He got it immediately and nodded, understanding the reference. We laughed at the situation, not at all threatened or enticed by the flirting girls. It simply was. We realized we had no control over the girls. What was going to happen was going to happen, but we had a mutual respect and we didn't want to make the other uncomfortable. He made sure the girls saw me as he nodded an acknowledgement and dissmissal.
I'm not exactly sure why I thought about Dave (as I haven't in a long while)but I guess I was rooting for Ms. CC (who I later discovered was married to Mr. CC with all the matching jewelry)to take the higher road. I KNOW (as many reading will say, it had nothing to do with me...although, I was looking rather cute and alluring...)that I was not the cause for concern, and that he was, but something about me being me put her on alert.
I was uncomfortable with that, but perhaps it was just the sponginess in me reflecting her discomfort and insecurity. Who knows? Your thoughts?
posted by Andrea | 6:21 PM
3 Comments:
I don't know Andrea. To be the innocent bystander but, looked at as the evil homewrecker doesn't feel good. I know that I almost feel like saying, "I'm not that type of person! If you knew me, you'd realize that's the furthest thing from my mind!" Mr. CC is the problem if she feels the need to be insecure. Then again, there are just the insecure and they are their own problem. I always want the girls to be banding together and rooting for our own but, have you noticed that when a pretty girl walks into a bar, all the other girls get put on edge and maybe negative words about pretty's clothing, looks, attitude (maybe the word slut is bandied?) start flying out of mouths? I like it when I catch my guy looking--we're all human. But, I know that there is only me and even though he might have the occassional look (I'm the guilty one of looking and commenting constantly) he loves me and thinks I'M the best one. Great post.
And great comment. I think you're right about insecures just being insecure and being their own problem (and worst enemy). I just need to remember that their issues are just that...theirs.
Hi. New to your blog by way of Vixen. Just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain...as it comes through loud and clear. I believe that you're on the right track in letting go of the guilt, pain, other's peoples' issues. Good for you! Great blogs!
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